My Favourite Disney World Attractions

The Disney World theme parks - Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Epcot - are such amazing parks that just seem to feel magical. Though I'm not a huge Disney fangirl, I still love the franchise and the movies, so I was beyond excited for these parks.

The rides here are incredible, and I was able to get my camera onto about 90% of them - unlike at the Universal parks. I didn't get pictures of all the rides I loved, but I'm already wanting to go back so I can ride them again! Sadly, we couldn't go on all the rides, or see all the shows. This was mainly due to fast passes, not enough time at the parks, or times we just got so darn hot, that we had to call it a day! But here are the ones I loved!

Magic Kingdom

1. Jungle Cruise
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
3. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
4. Haunted Mansion
5. Under the Sea - The Journey of the Little Mermaid
6. It's a Small World
7. Monsters Inc Laugh Floor
8. Space Mountain
9. Transit Authority PeopleMover
10. Carousel of Progress
11. TRON

The Carousel of Progress holds a special place in my heart, as it's one I loved when I first went to MK. This was the first time I've gone on the Haunted Mansion, or seen Monsters Inc Laugh Floor, and I loved both of them! 

Epcot

1. Mission: Space
2. Test Track
3. Living with the Land
4. Journey into Imagination with Figment
5. The Seas with Nemo and Friends
6. Turtle Talk with Crush
7. The Three Caballeros

I have to say that Space Ship Earth was a little too boring for me, although a good ride, I could have fallen asleep! Test Track was AMAZING, and we spent over an hour in the Chevrolet center after the ride, which was a fun bonus to the day. Figment was a fun ride, although it seemed as if no-one was heading towards it! 

Animal Kingdom

1. Festival of the Lion King Show
2. Kilimanjaro Safaris
3. Kali River Rapids
4. Expedition Everest
5. Finding Nemo - The Musical
6. Na'vi River Journey

I tried for ages to get the Flight of Passage fast passes in 2017, but couldn't - and everytime we go to AK, the queue is between 3-5 hours each time, so we gave that a hard pass! Na'vi River Journey was nice and relaxing, and thankful we had a fast pass, as it was usually a 2-3 hour wait at all times! The Safari and Everest were my two fave attractions at the parks. 

Hollywood Studios

1. Indiana Jones: Epic Stunt Spectacular
2. Rise Of The Resistance
3. Smuggler's Run
4. Toy Story Mania
5. Star Wars Launch Bay - Meet BB8, Chewbacca & Kylo Ren
6. Rock n Rollercoaster
7. The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
8. Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway
9. Fantasmic!

This is my fave Disney Park, so I wanted to put down EVERYTHING, but I restrained myself! Toy Story Mania has to be one of the best rides in Disney World - which explains the long wait times! I really loved Rock n Rollercoaster and Tower of Terror, plus Fantasmic was so much to watch in the evening.

What are your fave attractions in Disney World? Let me know! I would have put literally everything in these lists, but as I said above, we couldn't go on everything! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)


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Why Sex and the City Hits Different in Your 30s

There’s something magical about rewatching Sex and the City in your 30s. Maybe it’s the nostalgia of oversized flip phones and questionable early 2000s fashion, or maybe it’s the way the characters' chaotic lives suddenly feel a little too familiar. Either way, sitting down with a glass of wine (or let's be honest, a soda, because the hangovers hit differently now), I’ve come to appreciate this show in a whole new way.

Spoiler alert: it hits differently when you're no longer watching it as a starry-eyed 20-something who thought Carrie’s walk-in wardrobe was the pinnacle of success.

Let’s just get one thing out of the way first: Samantha Jones is the absolute queen. She was bold, unapologetic, fiercely independent, and full of wisdom that went straight over my head when I first watched the series as a teenager. Rewatching now, I realise she was the most emotionally intelligent of them all. While Carrie was chasing toxic love and Miranda was drowning in work stress, Samantha was out here living life on her terms, embracing pleasure, honesty, and total self-acceptance. Iconic.

But the real magic of Sex and the City in your 30s? It’s the way it gently – or sometimes, dramatically – reminds you that this decade is not the end of the story. It’s the start of something even better.

Friendships > Everything

The show’s backbone was never Big. It wasn’t Aidan either. It was the friendship between four women who, despite their wildly different views on life, always came back to each other. Watching that now, it hits me how rare and valuable that kind of connection is. In your 30s, your social circle might shrink, but the people who stay? They’re golden. And Sex and the City reminds you to nurture those friendships like your life depends on it – because sometimes, it does.

We’ve all had “I’m just like Carrie” moments – spiralling over a text message, questioning our life choices, or spending more than we should on something frivolous that somehow sparks joy. But it’s the way these women hold each other through breakups, bad decisions, career changes, and even cancer that reminds you your friends might just be the true soulmates of your life.

Life Doesn’t End at 30 (Shocking, I Know)

When I was younger, 30 felt like a deadline. Like you had to have the career, the house, the person, the plan. But Sex and the City laughs in the face of that. These women are living, learning, and messing things up well into their 30s, 40s, and beyond. Watching them chase new dreams, fall in love (and out of it), and discover new things about themselves reminds me that life doesn't just keep going – it gets richer.

There’s something oddly comforting about watching Carrie fall on her face (sometimes literally) and still pick herself up in heels. It’s a reminder that success isn’t linear, and growth isn’t always pretty.

Redefining What Success Looks Like

Marriage, babies, dream job – we’re taught to chase these milestones like they’re the only path to happiness. But Sex and the City challenges that idea. Watching it in your 30s, it becomes clear that happiness looks different for everyone – and that’s okay. Whether it’s Charlotte finally getting her family, Miranda balancing work and motherhood, Carrie choosing herself (after too many wrong turns), or Samantha just vibing with her best life, the show champions authentic joy over a checklist of achievements.

Embracing the Messy Middle

One of the biggest takeaways? It’s okay not to have it all figured out. In fact, nobody really does. And honestly, isn’t there something a bit freeing about that? Your 30s are messy, magical, exhausting, and empowering – often all in one week. Watching these women embrace their sexuality, chase their dreams, and fumble through life with humour and heart makes you feel a little less alone in your own chaos.

So if you're in your 30s and feeling a bit lost, pour yourself a drink, rewatch Sex and the City, and remind yourself: you're doing just fine. And if you're wondering what Samantha would do? The answer is probably "something fabulous, darling."

When did you last re-watch this show? Let me know! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)

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My Favourite Universal Resort Attractions

The Universal Resort theme parks - Universal Studios and, Islands of Adventure - are probably my fave two theme parks in Orlando. I love Disney, but the Universal rides are just tailored to what I prefer, so they are perfect - even if Disney has stepped up their ride game recently (hello Tron!)

The rides here are incredible, and though I couldn't get my camera on any of the rides, due to the metal detectors and no-bags policy on a lot of the rides, I just got to be in the moment and enjoy the rides. Here's a list of the ones I really enjoyed, and in no particular order.

Harry Potter & The Forbidden Journey

Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit

The Incredible Hulk Coaster

Harry Potter & the Escape From Gringotts

Jurassic Park River Adventure

Dudley Do-Right's Rip Saw Falls

 

The Bourne Stuntacular

All of these the rides that we went on, were AMAZING - but these are my top rides from both parks.

On Rip Saw Falls, we got so wet on it, that I was literally dripping water the entire way back to the car! Escape from Gringotts was so awesome, but the que time had jumped up to over an hour during the time we has queued for 10 minutes, went on the ride, and then came off of it. 

I also cannot stop raving about the Bourne Stunt show - I've never seen anything like it, and it was so good, we saw it twice!

What are your fave attarctions at Universal and Islands of Adventure? Let me know! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)


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My Debut Novel 'Another Day On The Island' Is Finally Here

Back in 2018, I had one of those dreams - you know the kind that clings to your brain like glitter and refuses to let go. A nameless girl stood on an island, singing a haunting melody that I couldn’t stop humming. I quickly voice-noted the whole thing before work so I wouldn’t forget... and that song? It lived rent-free in my head for weeks.

That random dream? It became Chapter 23.

That girl? She became Charlotte.

And today? Her story is out in the world. My debut novel, Another Day On The Island, is officially available to buy in paperback and on Kindle.

This book has been my heart and soul for the last few years. I've written, re-written, sobbed, smiled, and completely obsessed over this story - and now it's yours to read.

So, what’s it about?

In the unforgiving embrace of an uncharted sea, the Ward family's journey begins. Stranded on a mysterious island with no way home, they must fight to survive - against nature, isolation, and time.

Told through Charlotte Ward’s powerful and emotional lens, Another Day On The Island is a decade-long story of survival, unimaginable loss, and the enduring love of family. Even in the darkest moments, hope flickers. And even in the face of death… love prevails.

It’s raw, it’s emotional, and it’s personal.

Meet the cast (naming them was a journey in itself…)

Charlotte was named while I rewatched Sex and the City in 2018. (Yes, Charlotte York inspired her name. No regrets.)

Eliza started life as Lisa. Then I watched Hamilton on Disney+ in 2020, and… “Eliza!”

Lawrence was originally Rory, but in 2021 I renamed him after one of my fave UK Drag Queens – Lawrence Chaney.

Bethany and Graham? Just names I love.

I used ChatGPT to help visualise their faces. And one of the character mockups looked exactly as I imagined them. Not ashamed to say I got emotional.

And people are already loving it…

💬 “Very exciting!! Well done.”

💬 “Wow Tania, this is amazing!”

💬 “I’m definitely gripped by this story!”

💬 “Started reading your novel but decided I want to wait for the completed article! You amazing go girl - my kinda book!”

Honestly? I cried reading some of these. Charlotte’s voice is one I’ve carried with me for years, and seeing readers connect with her already means the absolute world.

How to get your hands on it:

📚 Paperback and Kindle versions available now!

👉 Paperback here

👉 Kindle here

📅 Release Date: 1st August 2025 (aka TODAY!)

Thank you for supporting me on this journey - whether you’ve read the prologue, followed along as I posted writing updates, or just liked a post now and then.

This is for anyone who’s ever had a story stuck in their head and dared to write it down.

Now go meet Charlotte 🖤

If you buy it, let me know what you think of it! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :) 


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5 Hilarious Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming My Own Boss

So, you’ve ditched the 9-to-5, waved goodbye to awkward office kitchen small talk, and are now the boss. Congratulations! Welcome to the wild, weird, and occasionally wonderful world of self-employment - where you’re equally likely to feel like a business genius and a hot mess within the same hour.

Here are 5 laughably real things I’ve discovered since becoming my own boss…

1. Lip-sync reels are absolutely mortifying - and I keep making them anyway

Nothing quite prepares you for the moment you catch your own reflection while mouthing along to a trending sound like a pound shop pop star. I can feel my ancestors judging me.

But here’s the thing: content is queen. And apparently, nothing says “I’m a capable, trustworthy business owner” like pointing at floating text boxes while mouthing “Nobody’s gonna know.” (Spoiler: They always know.)

So yes, it's awkward. Yes, I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience while editing them. But also? My engagement goes up. So we carry on, cringing all the way.

2. Canva is both my best friend and my nemesis

Ah, Canva. The online design tool that tricks me into thinking I’m a graphic designer - until I spend 40 minutes tweaking the spacing between two words and questioning my entire existence.

It’s fun. It’s easy. It’s too easy. Before you know it, you’ve downloaded 17 versions of the same Instagram post and can’t tell the difference between “Mulberry Mist” and “Dusky Plum”.

Also: if you haven't named your files things like “final-final-FINAL-post-v3-USETHISONE”, are you even self-employed?

3. Inbox detoxing is basically adult archaeology

Doing an inbox detox sounds productive and professional, right? Like you’ve got your life together and you’re not surviving on leftover Easter eggs and passive-aggressive to-do lists.

But the reality? It’s a journey. A very strange one.

You’ll find discount codes from 2019, an email you never replied to that haunts you in your sleep, and at least three mystery subscriptions you have no memory of signing up for. It’s messy. It’s enlightening. It’s oddly satisfying. 10/10 recommend.

4. Working alone is a bloody dream

Okay yes, sometimes it’s a bit quiet. Sometimes I narrate my day out loud just for some human interaction. But truthfully? Being left to crack on without Karen from HR hovering or someone stealing my snacks? Glorious.

No pointless meetings. No fake laughs at your co-worker’s stories about their cat’s gluten intolerance. Just me, my to-do list, and the freedom to work how I want.

Bonus: I can have Taylor Swift blasting on repeat without judgement.

5. Business on the top, chaos underneath

There is nothing - and I mean nothing - more iconic than showing up to a Zoom call in a lovely blouse, camera-ready makeup… and pyjama bottoms with cartoon sloths on them under the desk.

The ultimate work-from-home power move.

It’s comfy. It’s practical. And frankly, if I don’t have to wear jeans to be productive, I simply won’t. The business mullet (smart on top, party on the bottom) is now a way of life.

Final Thoughts?

Self-employment is a rollercoaster - sometimes you’re flying high, sometimes you’re crying into your third lemonade of the day because your WiFi’s gone again. But it’s also full of hilarious moments, brilliant wins, and unmatched freedom.

So if you’re out there, building your dream from the kitchen table in mismatched socks - just know you’re doing amazing, sweetie.

Got any funny or unexpected lessons from your own self-employment journey? Drop them in the comments or message me - I love a good business blooper.

And if you need me, I’ll be lip-syncing in my dressing gown while pretending I’m not rebranding for the third time this month. Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)

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What Disney Princesses Would Be Like as Small Business Owners

Let’s be honest - if Disney princesses existed in the real world, they wouldn’t be waiting around for a prince. They’d be launching empires, building personal brands, and absolutely slaying the small biz game. So, naturally, I had to imagine what kind of businesses they’d run if they swapped castles for co-working spaces.

Whether you’re a fellow entrepreneur, side-hustler, or just here for the Disney chaos - this one’s for you.

Belle – Owner of “The Enchanted Nook” Book Café

A warm cuppa, cosy armchair, and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves? Belle’s dream come true. “The Enchanted Nook” would be the go-to place for bookworms and introverts alike. She’d host weekly book clubs, open mic poetry nights, and probably have a rewards card for anyone who finishes War and Peace.

Expect a beautiful blend of rustic French charm and intellectual flair. She’d be an absolute queen of thoughtful Instagram captions and probably have a TikTok series called “Books I’d Risk My Life For.”

Elsa – CEO of “Let It Flow” Luxury Ice Sculptures

Ice magic is a niche skill - and Elsa knows how to monetise it. Her company “Let It Flow” would be the top supplier of bespoke ice sculptures for swanky weddings, high-end events, and posh winter galas.

She’d lean into the luxury market hard. Think: frozen champagne towers, personalised ice bars, and elaborate snowflake installations. Elsa’s a bit of a perfectionist (read: nightmare to work for), but the quality? Unreal. Oh, and she absolutely uses a project management app that sends passive-aggressive reminders.

Tiana – Founder of “NOLA Nourish” Meal Prep & Catering Co.

You already know this woman’s got hustle. Tiana’s passion for food and her strong work ethic would make her a small biz powerhouse. “NOLA Nourish” would offer soulful, wholesome Louisiana-inspired dishes - with a twist.

Her Instagram would be filled with drool-worthy food shots, behind-the-scenes kitchen chaos, and motivational reels reminding us to “stay focused and season generously.” She’d also have a bestselling e-cookbook and a podcast called The Supper Club.

Rapunzel – Creative Director of “Tangled Threads” Art Studio

Locked in a tower for 18 years? Of course she’s crafty. Rapunzel would open an eclectic art studio-slash-boutique called “Tangled Threads,” selling everything from hand-painted denim jackets to homemade candles and embroidery kits.

She’d offer in-person workshops, downloadable printables, and reels showing her painting to Lizzo songs. Her vibe would be chaotic-good with a side of glitter, and she’d probably go viral on Etsy in about five minutes flat.

Ariel – Founder of “Seas The Day” Sustainable Swimwear

Ariel’s brand would scream beach babe vibes with a conscience. “Seas The Day” would be a sustainable swimwear and ocean-inspired lifestyle brand. Think: eco-friendly fabrics, coral reef prints, and dreamy product shoots on the coast of Cornwall.

She’d be big on partnerships with marine conservation charities and would absolutely have a series of Insta stories titled “Flippin’ Fabulous Fridays.” Ariel’s USP? Mermaid energy with a climate-aware twist. Oh, and every order comes with a seashell hair clip. Obviously.

Cinderella – Owner of “Glass Slipper Events” Wedding & Event Planning

With her flair for transformation, Cinderella would be the ultimate event planner. “Glass Slipper Events” would specialise in magical, fairytale-inspired weddings (but she draws the line at actual pumpkins, thanks).

She’d run everything like clockwork (pun intended) and be the queen of Pinterest boards, Google Docs, and emergency sewing kits. Her tagline? Because your dream day shouldn’t depend on a fairy godmother. Love it.

Honourable Mentions

Moana would run a surf school/community centre hybrid and do TEDx talks on bravery and leadership.

Merida would own an outdoor adventure retreat in the Scottish Highlands.

Aurora would have a luxury sleepwear and aromatherapy brand called Once Upon a Nap.

So, whether you’re elbow-deep in admin, dreaming of launching your own business, or just needed a reason to picture Elsa in a blazer - remember: every Disney princess has an inner boss babe.

Which Disney character do you think would make a great business owner, and what would they run? Let me know in the comments - and don’t forget to check out my other small biz posts for more inspo! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)

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My Favourite Disney World Park

It’s been two years since my last incredible Florida holiday ended, and I miss it so much! I can’t wait to go back. We had the most amazing time, but for now, I wanted to kick things off with some pics from my favourite Disney Park.

Hollywood Studios, in my opinion, is the best of the Disney Parks. 

It definitely feels like the more ‘mature’ park, mainly thanks to iconic rides like The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. And now, with the addition of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, it’s even more appealing to me compared to the other three Disney theme parks. From the incredible shows and shops to the rides and general atmosphere, I just love everything about it!

Speaking of shows, we always make sure to catch the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular - it’s such a classic and never gets old! And we somehow managed to get on Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance one morning with only a 15-minute wait, instead of the usual 2–3 hours of queueing! Absolute miracle. 

Oh, and let’s not forget the new Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway ride - it’s so much fun, and the catchy tune gets stuck in my head every single time!

Here are some of my favourite pictures from Hollywood Studios! 📸✨

If you’ve been to Disney World in Florida, let me know which of the four parks is your favourite! I can’t be the only one completely obsessed with Hollywood Studios. Hope you have a great day and keep safe! 

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Why Summer Is the Ultimate Mood Booster When You Work from Home

Working from home has its perks - no commute, lunch in your own kitchen, and the ability to wear pyjama bottoms to Zoom meetings (don’t pretend you haven’t). But it can also get a little samey at times. When you're staring at the same four walls every day, it’s easy for your motivation to dip, especially during the darker, colder months.

Enter summer. The season of sunshine, ice creams, and that magical boost to your mood that makes you feel like anything’s possible. Here’s why summer is a total game-changer for those of us working from home:

Longer Days = More Time for You

When the sun doesn’t dip until 9pm, it feels like there’s actually time to live after work. You can finish your to-do list and still have hours left for a walk, meet-up with friends, or just sit in the garden with a good book and a cold drink. In winter, it’s pitch black at 4.30pm and suddenly it’s time for bed - summer gives you the gift of time.

Sunlight Literally Boosts Your Mood

It’s not just a placebo - sunlight increases your body’s serotonin levels, which helps improve your mood and focus. When you work from home, a quick 10-minute break outside in the sunshine can be enough to shake off a slump and get back to your desk with a clearer head.

You Can Actually Enjoy Your Lunch Break

No more huddling under a blanket with soup while it lashes it down outside. In summer, your lunch break can mean al fresco dining in your garden, a picnic in the park, or a short walk to get a coffee. It feels like a mini holiday in the middle of your workday.

More Energy, Less Burnout

The warmth and light of summer naturally give you a bit more get-up-and-go. You’re more likely to move your body, eat lighter meals, and sleep better (providing you’re not overheating!). All of that adds up to more energy and less burnout - something every home worker can benefit from.

Spontaneous Plans Are Easier

One of the biggest perks of being self-employed or remote working is flexibility. In summer, it’s so much easier to say, “I’ll finish up this task later and head out now.” Whether it’s a beach trip, a last-minute BBQ or just grabbing an ice cream with a friend - summer makes spontaneity possible, and honestly? That’s so good for the soul.

Your Workspace Just Got an Upgrade

Working from home doesn’t mean working indoors. In summer, your desk can be the garden table, a shady bench in a local park, or even a cute café with outdoor seating. A change of scenery can do wonders for creativity and focus - plus, everything feels more fun in the sunshine.

Nature Is an Instant Reset Button

When you’re stuck on a task or just having one of those days, a five-minute breather outside can completely reset your mindset. Summer means more green, more blue skies, more flowers - all of which have been proven to reduce stress and improve mental wellbeing. And bonus: it’s free!

Summer reminds us that life isn’t just about the hustle. It’s about joy, light, and taking a moment to breathe. So if you’re working from home this season, don’t forget to soak up the sunshine and enjoy the little moments - they might just make you more productive in the long run.

What’s your favourite thing about working from home in the summer? Let me know in the comments! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)

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Stupid Sh*t I Used to Waste Money On (And What I Do Now Instead)

Let’s be real: we’ve all wasted money on dumb stuff. At the time it felt justified, exciting even. But looking back? Absolute chaos. Today I’m sharing a few things I used to regularly drop my hard-earned cash on, and what I do differently now (aka older, wiser, and mildly less impulsive).

Pop Figures

At one point I had over 50 of these little vinyl creatures staring back at me from every corner of my room. I loved them... until I didn’t. I’ve since sold off most of my collection, keeping just six of my absolute faves. Lesson learned? Collecting is fun until it becomes clutter - and a bank-draining one at that.

Now: I only buy merch I really love and will use or display with purpose.

Beauty Purchases

My blog used to be beauty-focused, and I lived for the latest releases, haul content, and discount codes. But it got to a point where I was buying stuff just for the sake of it - not because I needed it. Half of it went untouched.

Now: I’ve got a solid skincare routine and a few trusted makeup staples. If it’s not an essential, I pass (unless it’s on a ridiculous sale, let’s be honest).

Heels

I cannot walk in heels. Never could. Never will. And yet, I owned multiple pairs "just in case". Spoiler: the case never came.

Now: I stick to comfy shoes I’ll actually wear - flats, trainers, and the occasional chunky boot. I still have a few small heels I can just about wobble through a restarunt in, but that's it! 

restaurant

Meal Deals Every Day

Buying a meal deal every day at work was my norm because I hated prepping lunch (still kinda do). But it added up fast.

Now: I meal plan before doing the food shop, and make sure I have food for lunch and dinner planned and purchased.

Notebooks

Stationery girlies, unite - I am still one of you. But there was a time I was buying 1–2 notebooks a week for literally no reason other than: "oooh, cute!"

Now: I limit myself to one new notebook per season (ish). And yes, I still struggle walking past the stationery aisle in The Works.

Clothes I Didn't Love

The early YouTube days of Primark hauls? Yep, I was deep in that phase. I’d buy loads of clothes for the sake of content, but half of it never fit right or wasn’t even my style.

Now: I only buy what I know I’ll wear. No more haul pressure.

Honourable Mentions (aka The Random Sh*t List):

• Tacky jewellery that fell apart within a week.
• Fragrances that triggered my asthma (love that for me).
• New food items from the deli at my old job - curiosity is expensive.
• Packaging and shipping supplies from my brief “I’m going to sell stuff online” era.
• Subscriptions to weight loss apps that I never used.
• Rune stones I never learned how to read (still cute though).
• Cheap tech that barely worked beyond opening the box.
• PENS. PENS. PENS. I don’t even know what to say here.

Moral of the story?

Impulse buys are fun in the moment, but being intentional with your money is so much more satisfying long-term. Don’t get me wrong - I still treat myself! But now I ask myself if it’s going to be used, loved, or just another thing that ends up in a box under my bed.

What’s the dumbest thing you used to blow money on? Let me know - no judgment here! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)

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Living with Social Anxiety

I’m not entirely sure how to word this post, so please bear with me!

The first time I really noticed I had anxiety was when I was 15. That’s when I realised what it was called and why I was feeling the way I did - along with experiencing panic attacks. By the time I was 18, I’d figured out what triggered me or made me feel 'off'. By around 22 years old, I’d developed certain techniques to help calm myself down and to deal with panic attacks when they occurred.

The good news was that in 2017, I only had about six or seven pretty bad panic attacks, along with a few smaller ones that were easier to manage. Considering I’d been dealing with this since I was 15, having had around 100 major panic attacks in total feels like decent progress. It’s strange how it works - sometimes I can go months without one, and then other times, they happen every other week.

These days, I rarely leave the house. I don’t tend to see people, go shopping, or do much outside. I see one of my friends every Thursday, and my other two friends around once a month. Social anxiety has made my world feel much smaller, and it's something I'm constantly trying to work on.

Social anxiety is my biggest challenge. I turn down social outings about 90% of the time. The 10% I do say yes to are usually when my one of best friends are there, or if it’s a familiar place with friends I feel comfortable around.

One month a few years ago, I managed three social outings over one weekend, which felt surreal looking back! Friday night was dinner out with Nicola, and I had no anxiety whatsoever. Saturday was a night out with some friends from work, heading into town for drinks at various bars. Which I NEVER did back then (or now, for that matter!)

I remember having a massive panic attack that morning and a few smaller ones while getting ready, but I still went out. It felt like such an achievement to push through that fear. I stayed out for a few hours, but my anxiety was a solid 8/10 the whole time, especially in one overcrowded bar where I felt like I was being crushed. Even after getting home, I could still feel my heart racing, and my legs were heavy from all the foot-tapping I did to distract myself.

On the Sunday, I went to a nearby pub in the evening with a couple of work friends. Despite it being a new place and with people I hadn’t hung out with much before, I felt completely fine. I was genuinely proud of myself for managing that so well.

So, what triggers my anxiety? Here are some of the biggest culprits:

• Large crowds of people
• Unfamiliar places
• Going somewhere new
• Going somewhere alone
• Driving long distances
• Feeling confused and not knowing how to handle a situation
• Arguments or confrontations
• Social gatherings

How do I cope? 

These are the techniques I rely on when my anxiety gets really bad or when a panic attack starts to set in:

• Counting slowly to 20
• Using the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique (engaging my senses)
• Sitting by a window and looking at the sky to create a sense of space
• Getting some fresh air
• Get the hell outta there, and go home!

If you have any techniques that help you or could be useful to someone else, please share them! I’m always looking for new ways to calm down quicker. 

Sorry if this post feels a bit all over the place - it’s so hard to put these feelings into words. But thank you for making it this far! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)


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