Friends come and go. Some stay forever, some are about for a few years, and other are a mere blink of an eye. I firmly believe that everyone we meet and interact with, is for a purpose. May it be a lifelong friend or a stranger that so much as gives you a smile in passing.
I've had quite a few friends in my almost 25 years of life. I've currently got a best friend of 9 years, another best friend who I've known since I was 2 years old, a few others that have come into my life in the past year or so. There have been friends who I had in my life for long and short periods of time, all of which have in some way, helped me become who I am today.
So here is a little letter to some of my ex-friends who had a lasting impression on me, for right or wrong!
Friends for about seven years, we knew each other at pre-school and then all through primary and junior school! You were my very first best friend! We did a lot together, such as my first sleepover, first school dance and were about for each other's first crushes and boyfriends. We parted ways when we went to different secondary schools, but we're still friends on Facebook, and I'm so happy to see how your life has turned out! You were, and still are, one of the kindest people I've known, and you now take part in beauty pageants - watch out other girls!
You taught me what it was like to be a best friend and what a best friend is to someone. Though we don't speak anymore, you'll always be part of many special memories.
I first met you in the last few years of primary school and then through junior school we got to become friends. We also ended up going to the same secondary school together, in the same form group as well, and had a few classes together. As soon as we went to secondary school, you blew me aside for your more 'popular' friends and then when I went off and made new friends you got pissed off at me. You're the one that didn't want to be 'seen with someone' like me.
I'm glad that happened as you turned out to be SUCH A BITCH. You were always rude to anyone who wasn't in your 'clique', or had the right hair/clothes/accessories. You bullied my sister and when I stood up for her, you left her alone and then started on me. This lasted all of secondary school. 7 years of this.
But it is because of you being such a cow, that I grew such a thick skin. Nothing about me or how I was, was ever right to you. All the bitchiness and shit you threw at me, bounced off of me. I got quite impervious to your nasty words and ways. I remember checking your Facebook a few years after we all left school, and you hadn't changed a damn bit.
You were my best friend for about 9/10 years. Technically 11, but we didn't exactly speak a lot in the last 18 months of our friendship. I want to say that is mainly my fault. As soon as you left secondary school to go to collage, things started going a bit awry. It was harder to meet up due to school, and I will say it was also down to me wanting to see my at-the-time-boyfriend a lot. I'm to blame for that. I also want to say thank you for being there for me when me and him split up. What you done for me that day and the few months after, were so kind of you. Thank you.
And then that's when you met your now husband. I only met him about 5/6 months into your relationship, by which point you were living together. You both told me you were going to get engaged soon and I saw how happy you were. And that's when I think it happened. I saw you with someone who really made you happy - your new best friend. I didn't feel you needed me anymore, so I pushed you away.
And that's on me.
I was jealous you'd found someone who made you so happy and would spend the rest of you life with. I realised that the second I saw you both together for the first time. I see from your wedding pictures just how happy you both are. At the time, I was still single and felt so incredibly alone and self-conscious all the time. This was also about the same time I started having super bad panic attacks, and Nicola was the only one who I'd really spoken to about it, so she was the one I shared that with.
I am so sorry if you feel I pushed you away, shoved you aside for Nic, or treated you badly. You were my best friend for so long and through my teenage/young adult life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything in those 10 years - you're the friend I miss the most.
Oh you two. I honestly don't know what happened with us all. One day we were all best friends, the next you both pushed against it and then one day, you'd just gone. I still, to this day, do not have a clue what went wrong. Why you didn't want to be friends with us anymore. It's like something happened over that Christmas that I was clearly oblivious to and you just decided you didn't want to be friends anymore. There has been no closure here at all.
But, I don't regret the 3/4 years we had as friends and all the fun adventures we all had with each other. The mini holidays, the fun nights out, and the late nights chatting about life while semi-drunk on your sofa.
What you say to your former friends? Or have you always had the same friends since childhood? I'd love to know your stories, so please tell me! This was so fun to write and oddly therapeutic, as I usually find these things! Hope you have a great day and keep safe :)
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